Greetings dear Readers and welcome to the long-awaited next post here on “The Financial Domination Magazine” – fetish straight talk for beginners.

As you have noticed I have been keeping an extended radio silence with only the occasional notification via my twitter account. The truth is I have been on a Hiatus for my own emotional health. I have returned, recharged and better than ever in my eyes. This of course gives me the perfect opportunity to speak about “The Importance of taking a Hiatus when you lose control!” Catchy title isn’t it?

When things are going badly in your private life due to constant emergencies, illnesses, the loss of a loved one or major upheavals it will eventually cause your mind to go into an overload. No matter how strong you are as a Woman of Power, eventually even you will “crack”. Which means you end up loosing control.

What do I mean by loosing control? It means you can no longer keep your emotions, reactions and attitudes in check. Your patience level is hitting dangerous lows and you will end up doing or saying things to people who have not done anything wrong to deserve this. With other words you are out of control.

Is that your fault? Not really, the human mind and spirit can only take so much trauma and stress before it goes into shut down and overload. It is a normal reaction to reject further stress and annoyances. You close off, you close everyone around you down and in some ways you may even wish to become vicious.

Now I am all for the occasional viciousness – I am a sadist when it suits me – but there is a viciousness that is suitable to the lifestyle and then there is a viciousness of mind and spirit which leads to abuse. The wrong type of abuse. Not the turn on phrase, but the actual abuse most of us should never encounter.

Remember the big statement which EVERYONE in BDSM or Fetish should know and life by? You can only control others if you are in full control of yourself! Lordy be, I have witnessed over my years so many Masters and Mistresses who were clearly not in control of their own mental facilities, had major drug or alcohol addictions or were emotionally so shut down and unavailable that they had no business taking even the mildest control over anyone elses life. The results usually end up with a damaged submissive who has to heal and becomes in many ways almost impossible to work with by another. Let me put it this way, especially in financial domination we as the Ladies here the following excuse more times than not: “I have been burned before and now I am just going to take it slow and I need to get to know you well before I am willing to serve you. (Translation tribute or serve in any form)”

Reality is that most of the time it is a lame ass excuse to be cheap, but in some cases it is legit. The thing is if that is the case you need to take a hiatus as a sub for a while. You need to step out, heal up, think about what really happened and figure out where in all of this you might carry some of the blame. Damaged goods are hard to train. Damaged goods – which you just told me you are – might be an ego boost for some (look at me how great I am for doing this for the poor boy) but they seldom work out and pay off both emotionally and financially. Most of the time when you do the healing, you end up being kicked to the curb after. Trust me I have had that experience plenty of times in the past until I closed my temple to the “poor me and broken toys”.

Now as a Mistress you really need to take a break from time to time. When it gets to the point that you dread logging on to your computer, go to the meeting with your servant, get hives just thinking about listening to another excuse from anyone why they can’t do what they were told and agreed to do, it is a good indication that you just had enough for a while. What nobody wants to deal with is a desperate female anymore than with a pathetic loser. (Not the turn on phrase type but the real ones).

Right before I took my hiatus I lost my marriage, had the death of my father-in-law (whom I loved as my dad), the complete collapse of one of my businesses, and several health issues. All of this came about between the month of May 2010 to November 2010. No matter how much I tried to continue on and no matter how much I really enjoyed and treasured some of my submissive I couldn’t stand listening to another problem of theirs. Remember that as the Goddess you are just as much responsible for their emotional health as you are for training and draining them.  Everytime any of them brought up that they had marriage problems, they couldn’t afford to buy the new toy they wanted or something else along that line I wanted to reach out and become mean. I had no more sympathy for any of them. I wanted to, I really did, but my mind was on overload.

I knew I had to take a hiatus when one of my most beloved gurls (yes that is you Mystique) told me about her marriage problem and about her gurl issues and I wanted to tell her to grow the fuck up and get over her-self. When I had to walk away from the screen several times because it was all about her her her. Thing is she is in a transformational stage right now and that is normal. Under normal circumstances I could have walked her, counselled her and by the power of my words brought her back to where she belonged, but I was not in it. I did the only thing I could do and that was to shut everything down, cut myself off from everyone and disappear.

Now if you are smart you are going to ask me – “How do you know you should not just quit?”
Truthfully you usually don’t know when you start. I thought I might just give it up  for good. On top of all the personal problems I had become pretty disgusted with the way my beloved Lifestyle changed. I had really grown tired of the attitudes of the so-called submissives which largely is not acceptable or the behavior of some of the Ladies. I was tired, fed up and really annoyed. 
I knew it was a hiatus when I started missing it. You know the one thing is true. If you are a Domina – regardless if it is fetish or BDSM - it is in your blood. You can step away from it for a while, but you are always going to return to it. Simply because it is such a huge part of you. I started missing it about 1 months ago. Started taking interest again and noticing things around me which I knew were signs of submissive behavior. I started talking about it again to others outside my home. I started writing stories about fetish again and I started drawing erotic BDSM or fetish flavored art again. The Domina in me was telling me she was back in action and had enough sleep to deal with the usual annoyances again.

The other wonderful part of coming out of a Hiatus is that you will naturally have changed a little. Not only are you refreshed and eager once again, looking forward to the various interactions, but you will also have readjusted your own boundaries. Yes, those are highly important. You might find that some of the things you had closed off are suddenly interesting enough to you to take on, others areas which you had wide open may have stopped being charming to you. Think of coming out of a hiatus as a rebirth and fully embrace it. It is awesome.

So take a look at where you stand today. Are you in full control of yourself? Are you desperate? ARe you overwhelmed and just want to be left alone? If you feel as if you can’t stand talking to another perverted all about me sub than close your computer down and go on a hiatus.

Now one more word. When I went on hiatus I had two boys in contract. Both of them had proofed loyal over the years and were very understanding of my time and problems. They made few demands on me and never were too good to stand back when I told them not today. I honored both of those contracts until they were ready to let go of them. If you have boys in contract to you, under collar then remember that they have the right to know what is going on. YOu have to talk to them. If they are just about them-selves or don’t come on to check in with you, you don’t owe them anything.  But the loyal ones who check in, do what they should – please don’t just run away from them. Let them know and tell them you will be back when you are back to normal. If you can handle being friends for a while, than allow them that contact. Give them freedom to act or ask them to remain loyal and go about their life as if they are still in service to you. Some can actually do that and think for themselves. It is amazing when they do.

Keep things real and keep them honest. When you return you will be surprised how many of the boys have missed your presence in their life. I have been back for less than one week officially and I have yet to have one day on which boys have not come to approach me and tell me how much I have been missed by them. I have had my tributes and drainings and I have been made very welcome.  Taking the hiatus was the right decision and coming back was as well.

I am working currently on the next print edition of the magazine and am planning on resuming publication by mid April. Keep an eye out for it.

As always

Goddess Bella Donna