Good morning my darlings both Ladies and boys!
First of happy memorial day weekend to all of you who are in the USA and thank you to all our military people in service once again. Thank you to their families as well who give so much of themselves in order for our service men and women to be able to do their job and do it well. Being in the military (any branch) is not easy and it is just as hard on the families who have to give their loved ones up for much of their time. Thank you all.
Today my mind is on “Living your talk!” You know so many people on both sides of the fence approach me either for mentorship or for wishing to serve me, but when you start getting into some of the real questions and you desire to see actions they quickly get offended or find a million excuses why they can’t follow through. The fact is however it takes actions and dedication not just words to live your talk.
Living your talk can get really uncomfortable at times in the real world. You attract people who can become almost psychotic in their obsessions. You can meet up with people who are dangerous to themselves as well as you. But you can also meet some of the most amazing people ever. The thing is when you stop just playing out a fantasy in your head where you are always in charge of every aspect and come out of your kinky closet, you are now up for scrutiny.
I have very high standards for myself and I have high standards for everyone I deal with. I have been told I am too idealistic by pitty repeatedly, but I think it is more that I have what he doesn’t. Real time experience and the drive to actually live my life outside of my head only. Once you do that you have to have high standards or you will fail. You can’t accept people who can never follow your lead, because they simply don’t have what it takes. Either due to personal situations like family or jobs, or because they really are just fantasy lifers and don’t have any real feeling for what we do. For them it is simply a stroke of fantasy.
To me it is a way of life, the way I am. Nothing more or less is necessary to be said on that really. I have been out of my kinky closet from the beginning on. I never felt it necessary to hide who or what I am. Matter of fact, I learned that you can be around vanilla people even young ones and not be offensive if you use some common sense. I earned my respect this way from many walks of life.
Is everything always perfect? Of course not, nor would I expect it to be so. Yet when there is more bad than good in something, when all I get is a bunch of talk, I don’t feel the need to move further with a person. Why? Because they become tedious to me and boring. Yes boring!
I am a doer by nature not a watcher of life. I am not going to just sit and talk about things until the cows come home, I am going to want to see actions and within a reasonable amount of time. A reasonable amount of time being a couple of weeks, not months or years.
I have this first contact path and yes I set it up partially because of the constant harassment (unwanted attention being pushed on me by our delusional “friend” who seems to assume just because he decided after that he wants to serve me but hasn’t done a thing to proof it in almost 1 Year he now needs to create alias after alias to shut me down or make me give in) and partially because it seemed to be the only way of getting boys to understand that actions are required with me.
I have decided to take the first contact path down, but I am not going to even give someone a chance if they don’t do the introduction perfectly and right. So now it means instead of getting my help in doing it right which most you sorely need, you are required once again to do it on your own. To actually think before speaking. Seems the hardest thing to do for most of you. Funny part is that those who actually live this life will by its nature be able to work it out for themselves, while those who just talk all the time and fantasize will not.
See that all comes with experience. Some fantasies are better left in fantasy land like castration, ruination, mutilation etc. Those do not belong in the real time world. But others belong there like real submission and slavery. You know the difference between a want to be dreamer and a real timer quickly, because one has a particular speech pattern which he/she/it can not change. It is honed out of the ego you see and of the flip side the trigger BS internet talk they have read way too much of. A truly submissive individual has a completely different demeanor. They have a different way of talking and a different way of behaving, simply because they already know from experience what is what. You can’t learn that on the internet. YOu can’t pretend that. You can’t fake it until you make it. It is in you, part of you or not there at all. Being told oh I need to be a slave, but being an idiot or a pompous all about my wants person is the furthest thing from a person needing to be a slave.
Let me switch the spot light to the Dom/mes for a second because there too I see a lot of misunderstandings. Being a bossy bitch doesn’t make you a Dom/me. It makes you simply a bossy bitch. Nothing more. A Dom/me does not owe you an explanation of why she does what she does or why she closes a topic on you. It is enough that he/she does period. If she wishes to explain that – than fine, but it is not your due. A Dom/me does not owe you his/her time, he/she gives it to you because you have entertained him/her well, he/she enjoys your company or you have earned it. Yes you boys give us time as well, but unlike what you think a real Dom/me doesn’t chase after you. They are approached and are woed, not the other way around. With other words you are the ones wanting the attention given to you, not us needing your attention.
That is the power difference right there. Are Dom/mes worthless without their slaves? No, not worthless but we do need each other. ONly difference so many still don’t get is that that slave doesn’t have to be you, and if you need to push yourself on someone than guess what you are not worth having period.
See the simple fact is that if you are a good slave, or at least good raw slave material the Dom/me you approach is going to be happy to spend time with you, train you to his/her expectations and turn you into the treasure every slave desires to be. You wouldn’t need to chase them down, annoy the hell out of them, push yourself on them under different aliases just to get some attention. You wouldn’t need to because you have what it takes to have him/her interested enough in you to continue on. That pushiness, that chasing, that ignorance of what submission really is – is exactly what shows you don’t have what it takes.
Which is the same with Dom/mes who have to send endless spam emails all the time and approach subs they have not ever even spoken to with silly demands. If you have to do the chasing you are not a person in charge, period. Slaves serve you because a. they see you as worthy of that service, b. respect you, c. because they are actually feel submissive towards you.
Yet even that doesn’t guarantee a slave a place at your feet, because as much as you chose the person as a submissive whom you wish to serve, the Dom/me in turn has to chose you as well. You don’t get to make that decision boys! It is a joined agreement or not at all.
Once one or the other says, I am sorry but I don’t want you – it is done. The topic is closed for good and final and you move on. No harm done besides a bruised ego. And guess what a slave has pride but not an ego. There is a difference.
A slave seeks rules and guidance, a slave needs those to be complete. A Dom/me seeks to rule and guide, that is why we take slaves on. It is as simple. So when you give an order as a Dom/me and the person you are dealing with constantly has an argument, wants to debate you or finds excuses why he/she can’t follow through with your order given they are not the right one for you. That is a core principle all real time Dom/mes have.
We must understand the difference between a sub/slave and a bottom as well. But if someone is a Master in other areas of BDSM and simply wants to be in my case be a financial submissive he needs to be honest up front so I know what I am up against. I still won’t just base my judgement on that fact, but it will make a difference to me how I handle the process. Why because I understand how hard it is for a real time Master to bottom down to someone. I know the difference in speech and thought patterns. Yet, someone like that won’t have it easier with me at all. Simply because he already should understand how much work really goes into training someone. He/She has even less excuses.
From such a person I truly expect perfect manners from the start, because he/she him/herself would have trained his own slaves to have them. If you can’t even give me that much, you are never going to go far with me. There is a big difference between being polite and manners as well. Something only a lifestyler or a real timer with experience would know.
I give respect to those who deserve it and that is everyone until they have become so annoying that I no longer feel that this respect is necessary. They have already stepped over my line of endurance with behavior acceptable.
I say this all the time and I will say it again. Subs / slaves are not second class people, they are not mentally inferior to us, they are the ying to our yang. They are however by their nature to give a certain amount of courtesy mannerful respect to those they approach. That doesn’t mean they have to grovel or be over the top sugary. It means that they respect the courtesy rules I have for non-serving slaves to uphold.
Since slaves do feel the need to be guided in performing an action in a certain way, it is actually showing them the respect they deserve to give them exact guidelines on how you want something executed. Be that responding to a post on a forum, be that making a first approach etc.
If they don’t feel like following that order, they can simply not reply to the forum post. They get snarky or confrontational with the person having posted those rules, they are simply showing me that they a, either don’t really feel the need to be guided, b. are bottoms only, c. can’t follow rules period.
What about slaves who are in service to someone else you may ask now. They have their on set of rules given by their Owners. Of course they do, but I doubt that simply manner rules would be in contrast to those I would state. If they are told otherwise by their Lord/Lady they can simply state that in the response. My Owner has told me to respond in this fashion – no disrespect was intended. Wonderful! I like it! Now you just brought honor to yourself and your Owner.
Any Dom/me who has done what he/she is doing for any length of time real time has a specific set of Rules and ways he/she wants it done. There are standard courtesy manner rules for non-serving submissives and there are standard Rules for their slaves. As a submissive you should have no problem following the standard courtesy rules for non-serving to the Dom/me rules.
Protocols are not dead yet and I for one am old school protocol Domina. So when you deal with me, or want to deal with me you already know that about me. If you can’t accept that, you need to stay away from me. I won’t chase you down!
Ok that was just my meditation for today and I will post that in several of my blogs, and forums today. Have a lovely weekend and if you do with to approach me for service you may do so via Goddess.BellaDonna@yahoo.com but be aware that I want it done perfectly and right or you will simply get ignored. Or you can take the first contact path if you don’t know how to do it and get the instruction within. Simple.
Oh and yes I do expect a show of appreciation within a reasonable time frame, reasonable to me that is. If you want to impress me and show me that you are real you would do that on your own without being told anyways. Another sure sign that you indeed wish to serve me as a financial submissive. It really is simple!
